Personal discipline is a private victory. It happens behind the scenes, where no one is watching. Sometimes, no one will ever know about the decisions that foster success. The truth is, most of the super-difficult choices we make are deep on the inside. Sometimes they have payoffs that people eventually see; sometimes the only reward is our own sense of integrity.

There are times where we set goals and everything seems to go wrong. We may carve out time for our most important project and the project turns into an epic fail. Stepping up to the plate again and refusing to quit may be the most important win of your week, but it’s not something that makes you call your friends and throw a party. Isn’t it interesting that a lot of our most important wins are unseen and uncelebrated.

• showing up (especially for yourself)
• taking action when you don’t feel competent
• turning down invitations
• making time for your kids despite your exhaustion
• cutting short a negative conversation instead of humoring the other person
• choosing not to be distracted
• choosing grapes instead of cupcakes
• getting out of bed when you said you would
• making the phone call that you want to postpone
• quietly standing up for yourself instead of going with the flow to avoid conflict
• asking for help
• winning the private moral battles in your mind
• choosing faith

These unrecognized decisions affect our integrity, our health, our relationships, and our dreams.  So when you are gritting your teeth through a struggle that no one will ever see, or when you’re dancing in your kitchen over a private victory that you’ll never talk about…remember to celebrate. Take a moment to congratulate yourself, journal about it, or grab a few moments for quiet reflection.

At the end of your life, it is these silent wins, more than the trophy kind, that will make you proud of who you are and the way you chose to live.